Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project
failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis:
Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone
who
doesn't work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and
then
leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving
the
top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters:
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's
heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs:
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working
to stay home with the kids; Stands for Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive
Mortgage.
Squirt the Bird:
To transmit a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no
property,
and no regrets.
Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic
strip is worn away from extensive use.
Tourists:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.
"We
had three serious students in class; the rest were just tourists."
Treeware:
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Going Postal:
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference
to
the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and
gone on
shooting rampages.
Alpha Geek:
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or
work
group; "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around here."
Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement
by
kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Chips and Salsa:
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software; "Well, first we gotta figure out if
the
problem is in your chips or your salsa."
Flight Risk:
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a
company or department soon
GOOD job:
A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job; A well-paying job people take in order to pay
off
their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find
yourself
unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to
work again.
Uninstalled:
Euphemism for being fired; Heard on the voicemail of a Vice President at
a
downsizing computer firm - "You have reached the number of an
uninstalled
Vice President; Please dial our main number and ask the operator for
assistance."
See also Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch:
The taxing hand positions required to reach all the appropriate keys for
certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer
involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key, the
Return
key and the Power On key.