Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte
Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, and then slowly expands to 200MB
Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files
Ellen Degeneres virus: You can no longer insert disks into your computer
Titanic virus: Your whole computer goes down
Disney virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy
Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back
Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy